I’m Dr. Vanessa.
My passion in life is to change the conversation about how we make the world go ‘round for all of the kids we are growing up.
I want kids to grow up in the best possible way.
I want parents, teachers, caregivers, and other big people to know they are a child’s answer.
I want the mysteries of brain development and the complexity of a child’s needs to feel totally conquerable.
I want your kids to know that you’ve got this!
And I want you to know that it’s going to be ok.
My guiding mantra is SEE it, FEEL it, BE it. The idea is that there is no magic, expert way of getting it right for our children. That step-by-step guide, or guaranteed strategy, or magic solution for a given situation doesn’t exist. And anybody who tells you different is selling you a line.
My take? When you deeply understand the needs of children (SEE it) and in turn, feel compassion for children in the moments when those needs present behaviorally or otherwise (FEEL it), you will be instinctively compelled to respond in a manner that is magically suited to the moment and each child’s needs (BE it). Now THAT is how you get your big person swagger on!
I wrote my book, Discipline Without Damage, because we’ve got access to amazing information about the science of child development and yet, dominant parenting pop culture often has us doing exactly the opposite of what we now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be good for children. Yup – that conversation is one that needs to change!
I seek everyday to have parents and other big people feel full of swagger in their most important job of growing up kids.
I want you to feel like there isn’t an expert in the world that could possibly know better than you what your child needs.
I want you to feel, from somewhere deep inside your big person heart that you are full of know-how in BEING IT for the child you are growing up.
I want you to get your big person swagger on and just BE.
That’s right. You go on. Go and BE. You’ve got this. And if you have any questions about that along the way, then I’ve got you. We’ll get it figured out.
I remember expecting our first son and saying to our physician “I just can’t wait for him to be born so I can stop worrying!” And she looked at me and said “girl, you have no idea!!!”
Happily, it hasn’t all been about worry. But it has been about a lot of honesty, some heartache, and a continued drive every day to be the kind of parent who is aware and attuned to the needs of my growing children. I will tell you that there is nothing like actually walking your talk in all of this as a parent to keep one humble!
There are days when I feel like I rocked it, and other days when I have been a hot mess. But one of the wonderful things about all of this growing up kids stuff is that you don’t have to be perfect in order for it to work out ok. You just have to be good enough.
My two boys are beautiful, compassionate, and deeply sensitive human beings who I have the remarkable luck to be growing up. They inspire me, they keep my feet on the ground, and they move me to feel everyday so that I can be for them exactly the kind of big person that their unique growing souls need.
Dr. Vanessa Lapointe is an author, parenting expert, and registered psychologist (British Columbia #1856) who has been supporting families and children for more than fifteen years. Author of Discipline without Damage: How to get your kids to behave without messing them up, a regularly invited media guest and contributor, educator and speaker, a Huffington Post Parent blogger, and a consultant to research projects and various organizations promoting emotional health and development, Dr. Vanessa is known for bringing a sense of nurturing understanding and humanity to all of her work. She presently works in private practice and has previous experience in a variety of settings, including the British Columbia Ministry of Children and Family Development and the school system. Dr. Vanessa’s passion is in walking alongside parents, teachers, care providers, and other big people to really see the world through the child’s eyes. She believes that if we can do this, we are beautifully positioned to grow up our children in the best possible way. As a mother to 2 growing children, Dr. Vanessa strives not only professionally, but also personally, to view the world through the child’s eyes.